Holy crap. I knew going off the pill was going to bad. But this is shithouse. And this is what I wanted answers for when I went to my GP and got nothing. Apologies for any males who actually read this, but I figure the title should be enough to put you off.

I stopped taking my pill maybe 7ish weeks ago to try and help me with my moods, and as with any medication I knew my body would struggle since I’ve been taking it pretty much every day for 10 years now.

The first week was OK, I felt like I could do this no worries. How hard could it be! Then the mood swings hit. Damn near every single weekend I would burst into tears and cry for hours, claiming ridiculous things, unable to get out of my slump until my body was ready. This happened for about 5 weekends in a row. What joy.

The sore boobs for two weeks straight I could deal with. That wasn’t so bad, just annoying, and painful when I’d do boxing and accidentally swipe against it. Had the potential to floor me but I could handle it.

But now I’ve reached the horrible symptom of endless hunger which is also coupling with weight gain. And I think this is the worst of the lot. Worse than feeling miserable and crying for no reason believe it or not. Because I can feel myself rapidly gaining weight, and I want to fight it, I want to do something about it, but my god these junk food cravings are winning me over, worse than usual. But even besides that I’ve never gained weight as quickly as I have. And all I can see is my little pudgy gut getting bigger, I look like I’m friggen pregnant, and I can’t hide it, especially when I sit down that bloody fat roll is all I can see, straining against my clothes, and I’m constantly readjusting to try and hide it but it’s just there. And I feel disgusting. And I feel like Mitch can see it happening and he’s not going to find me attractive anymore, which brings me back into the crying uncontrollably because who could love someone when they look like this.

Maybe next week will be a better week. Or maybe next week will bring a whole new ball game to contend with.

But all I want to do now is get drunk, like sloppy, messy, drunk, and forget my problems, forget my fat gut. Seems like the only logical thing to do.

Please ask your doctor before you do something ridiculous like this. And please make sure you have a bloody good doctor. I’ve got some serious homework to do to get me through the next couple of months until my body stops having daily screaming fits about what I’ve done to it.

And if anyone feels my pain, has gone through it and is out the other side I’d love to hear about it, to know there is light at the end of this tunnel of hormones.

Picture of my dog because he’s bloody cute.

Lots of love,

Eloise

 

SONG RECOMMENDATION

Wild Horses – Bishop Briggs

New release song, a good bopper.

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